Half-Baked Human: Part 2

Disclaimer : This could be gross.

Life seemed suspiciously ok for a while. My friends were always asking, "Are you high ?" and I was forever saying, "Man, you DON'T know...".

Then it happens.

I get a package in the mail. Wrapped in brown paper. The mailman drags from the van to my door. Man, I do NOT have to be told what THAT is. Sigh.

I take it inside. Wonder what to do next. I open the package. No, there's no card saying "Luv, A & B". Only a note stating that the defects found in the enclosed item were of my own making and hence the item would have to remain in my custody. Great.

The ache is back. I have to do SOMETHING before the entire list of symptoms unfolds and I am left powerless once again.

I take the bloody thing in my hand. Heavy, sure. Hmmm.

I take it to the kitchen, not really thinking of what I was doing. Get the cutting board. And the knife. Place the "item" neatly in the centre of the board. I start slicing thin layers. The ache is forgotten for the moment as my brow furrows in concentration. There, done ! Now to turn this thing by 90 degrees and start slicing again. Hmmm. Finished with that as well. Now what ?

I take a frying pan. Place it on the fire. "Heat oil. Saute till done." Okay. DONE.

Now what ?

A rustling sound in the backyard. That damned dog.... Always jumps the wall but cannot jump back. Wait a minute...

I put the stuff in a newspaper and open the back door. The dog responds to my whistle. Here doggy.... Hmmm. That's the last I see of it. At least it served a purpose for someone.

It's dinner done, I shoo the dog away. And dump the dishes in the garbage can.

Sigh. Feels MUCH better. Another day ends. To bed, and a dreamless sleep.

Morning sunshine. Well, nearly noon, actually. I open the door and pick up the paper. What's that noisy vehicle ? The Corporation's garbage van. And just outside my gate, the reason for it's arrival. The dog. Dead.

Great. I didn't mean to. Honest.

The van takes it away.

Now what ?

I struggle to think of ways in which it might come back once again. Hmmm. I'll think of something when that happens.

People are back to asking me "Man, are you high ?".....

The Good Life.